isobel
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sugar baby liquid tender fist slit gash knit water blister
suck my shit my toungue loose leaf laundry baby
baby sun hot flower ginger sick sock not pee piss
watch lick on me fuck window linger wreak

oh me, oh my.
my name is nicole
i stalk people
It's all about taking the time.
Chasing after it and the want to see the connections,
the details.
If you want it, you'll get me.

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the teacher asked each person to list 5 things we thought were beautiful on paper, without our names. then we passed them up. emot expre clavi rai juxta he stopped and began to read mine. i knew he was going to.. i could tell it was my paper.. he only said rain out loud. and thought about the others.
ooooh my goooooodnesss. this.. . this… i…i……this… is one of the best things in the world at the moment. wittle kitty come to me and i’ll love you with all my being.
Crystal cut my hair. ♥♥.
I would love to sleep here with my loved ones. I would love to sit here and talk for hours. Draw. Listen to music. Sit and do absolutely nothing for hours and hours. I want to make love here. I’d love to sit here, waste away as each tiny moment passes in this cold cold space.

My dreams keep taunting me.

I wish it grew inside of me.
I love these two colors together, red is the mistress of baby blue. Though if these were sea foam green, that light pastel green color.. I’d have no other choice but to slowly lick them and give them sweet sweet kisses. Keep them in my room on the same plate til they decayed and rotted, While I took pictures of them every lil passing second til the day they died away.
Sitting and Watching

I don’t think I’ve ever had the intimate chance to really observe a baby up close before.
But I did today.
I feel like I’ve come to understand more.
Their movements, their struggling body, their eyes and what their mind is trying to do when exposed to everything.
Why they cry and squirm.
The longer I stared at poor baby girl, the more I became claustrophobic.
The more I saw distress in her eyes, desperately trying to move her body, the more I recognized the feeling of being trapped.
Her movements began to mirror my own when I’m in a situation where I feel claustrophobic.

Sitting, in that little rocking crib for hours on end, not being able to do anything with yourself.
Crying, for something to change, for someone to come. For something.

picturepurrrfect: my absolute favorite. Dammit, I am so proud. I looove how these photos came out. I couldn’t dream it being any other way. Crystal was a wonderful model :). I’ve missed taking pictures. Ladies and Gentlemen, look at those eyes.
A A A A A A

A night filled with spilled alcohol. Minors.
An amalgamation of cops and delinquent children.
Full of disrespect and stupidity.
Dulled down and dealt with the use of calm authoritative voices coming from my tiny body.
Funny to think.

Overall the night ended well considering.
Got to scold a number of appaling little fleas and put them in their place.
“Get the fuck out.”

andrew and i took pictures on a rainy rainy day. it was amazing.
here comes the new year. throughout the year and years to come i hope to achieve the goals that i’ve set before me. i hope to posses enough self-awareness and all the other tools necessary to distinguish the goals i wish to achieve and understand why i do. i hope to treat my body, my mind, and soul with respect and have a clear understanding that i deserve the respect that i want. and the respect that i, at times, have no idea that i deserve. i wish to learn more about myself, my friends and loved ones, the world, everything in between and beyond. i hope to strengthen all my abilities, including artistic as well as academic. i hope to strengthen my understanding of people and my ability to adapt, to learn new things altogether and apply them. i hope to posses the disciplines needed in order to live the life that will not only make me happy, but will be good for me. along side of being happy, living a good life is just as important.. if not more. i hope to gain more insight into what i want for myself in the future (which also includes love, school and career paths, living situations, lifestyles, etc.), because if i don’t know… who the hell will? i hope to meet new interesting people that i can build lasting relationships with. i hope to strengthen the loving relationships that i already have. i hope to create new memories as well as remember the ones that have already come and gone. i hope to find my special lobster. the one that i want and who wants me. the person that will love me as much as i love them, in the same way that i love. the person that will not only receive everything that i have to offer, but will give just as much. someone that i’ll learn from, a person that can learn from me. a person i can grow with, discover with, and explore. someone that deserves me, because i’ll spend every moment making sure that i deserve them. you work for what you want, you don’t just get it. and the list goes on…
Won’t you stay with me, just a little longer.

When I talked to you on the phone.
I could vaguely hear mother in your voice.
It was when we were saying goodbye. How you said goodbye.
I could feel my eyes widen, stopped in my tracks like I hit a brick wall.
I could barely, say anything.
Good thing, it was the end of the conversation.

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